my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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