Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
