I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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