It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
