last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
