Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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