You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
MIDGETS
????
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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