Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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