Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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