I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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