we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Be still, my beating vagina.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
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I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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