What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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