plz talk dirty to me
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
