its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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