I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
