You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
