Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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