You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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