If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I didn't notice because vodka
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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