We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
