Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
