I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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