Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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