Sponge bath it is.
Me too!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
