Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
