i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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