I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
