at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
