I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
