If i could tip my vagina, i would.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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