The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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