I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
