dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
