Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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