Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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