you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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