Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Pants are for mortals
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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