Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
