I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
