Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize