oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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