Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
