i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
