My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
