On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
