I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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