Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
