i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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