you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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