i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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