Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
