U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
