you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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