whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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