Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
