If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
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The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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