I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
