When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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