And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize