I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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