is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Pants are for mortals
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
