im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
