We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
