I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
