i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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