HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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