she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
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She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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