So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
