This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
