it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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