all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
A+ Viking dick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
