You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
